This is not about the black eyed peas song.
It was the topic of a seminar by TT Rangarajan of Alma Mater I attended yesterday.
It’s not about that either.
I had this amazing realization today. While eating, yea, while eating, and with some people having rave takes about the seminar we attended yestarday. The very capable orator had emphasised a lot about the importance of physical touch in a relationship between two people, be it friends, husband and wife, parents and kids…..
So, there came a classic citation of how have things differed at now, having friends at a proffessional ground, as opposed to having friends in college, or better yet, a hostel.
Now, when we talk, we sit at a certain distance and talk of very restrictive topics. Being cordial, they call it.
Snap back in time, in hostel, as friends we would talk about random things with friends. We would also be just huddled over on each other, and since that is an example of physical touch, it manifests to how much more in love we were and we are.
Really, think of it. I was pointed to by a friend of mine, that’s the closest friends have been those with whom you’ve been the most foul mouthed with. I was initially very surprised by that observation. But a quick reintrospection, and I realised the weight of his words.
Foul mouthed, as in speaking with lots of swearing, and a whole lot of cuss words.
Not in anger or retaliation, but foul mouthed, during the course of a regular conversation.
It might be?
I’m at a most comfortable zone (not exclusively though) with people, who I have spoken in that filthy, rowdy and “unfit for civil people” type of language. Where often at times more imagination and creativity was used decorate the phrases and sentences, than the context of those phrases and sentences. It still feels great to have a go at them, and them getting on to me.
The happiest of couples I’ve known and seen talk like that to each other (mind you , I’m not refering to any bedroom activities here).
My birthday buddies from college are known to be epitomes of what one does not describe as “homely, refined and cultured”.
Another group of friends would “talk the talk”, once a little high and tipsy, in an edearing and non threatening way.
Interns who break the barrier by getting out the college lingo.
Many stand up comedians use it as a de-facto technique to roll in the cheers.
Writers, do it all the time for humor, anger, revolt , just to establish that connection with the reader.
How does being cordially foul mouthed put others in a comfort zone?
Does it even make sense?
It doesn’t, and I by no means am advocating going on and trying it on to your friend or spouse. Do not try this at home. You have been warned!
In fact when I think about it, guys together would do the talk with quite a flamboyance, as though the talk had merits associated with it. I’m not so sure of how it hapenned in girls hostel though. My imagination takes a downfall at “Kutti, Kamini … main tera khoon pee jaaoongi” . I have a certain Ekta Kapoor to blame for this mental limitation.
But I’m sure even females from a hostel would have their version of the dirty talk.
Is it me, or is it us?
If you’ve read it so far, and have been pally with certain someone from college / hostel days, I’m going to urge you to take a thought dip, and try to recollect the last interesting conversation with that someone.
Now would be a very good time to call up that someone and say “B#$%^&*”, and Kamini…. 🙂
It does apply to me, but do you feel the same way ?